Gone

Well she went on Wednesday night; the longest we've been apart since we met, and it hurts already. She's let me know she arrived OK, but I doubt she'll get much chance to communicate over the next few weeks. She's modelling, so it's a busy time, and all her model mates from back-in-the-day will be there. She did say she'll be back next month, and her return date seemed to get closer as she neared departure. Just before she went, she said she was worried about leaving me alone... how would I look after myself? Again, very sweet in a disparaging way!
Now all that is left is to worry whether her head will be turned by somebody more glamorous, successful, good-looking and exciting than me. Or perhaps she will decide that the whole jet-set lifestyle she has enjoyed is superficial - she always seems so happy relaxing on my sofa, wearing my old clothes, just the two of us. This could be a crucial point in our 'relationship' or whatever term you would use for the communication line between us. I don't want to pester her - she will be so busy, and I'd never want to appear like some form of albatross - but I think of her constantly. It drives me crazy. Ho hum, what will be will be. I don't think I've ever punched above my weight so much in my life. These feted 'supermodels' were always so inaccessible as to be stratospheric, so falling into something so intense with one is actually very stressful. Insecurity rages as I wonder how long it will be before she wakes up and realises how un-special I really am, then wonders why she spends so much time with me.
Thing is, I never really saw her as 'good looking'; I just thoroughly enjoyed being around her, and we moved so quickly from our initial meeting to a situation where we pretty much blocked everybody out of our communication (6 hours from first meeting). Since then, we have jointly let people in. So I guess she must find it refreshing that I love her for her, rather than her looks, glamour etc. Whether that will be underlined or sidelined during our time apart remains to be seen. Have e-mailed her today - nothing in particular to say, but just desperately wanted to communicate with her. Do not want to make her feel bad or worried about me; it is so important to support her in whatever she does, and it may be that the idea of having little, insignificant me, waiting at home with a cup of tea might give her an antidote to her other life - a secure escape if you like.

Had a lot of mimes in my apartment last night:

That's me taking the picture in the mirror. Don't ask.

They were in my hallway and both bathrooms. I didn't expect it when I went out last night, but life sometimes deals you a strange situation, whilst making it almost seem commonplace. I photographed them as I doubted friends would actually believe me. However, when I posted a comment on Facebook (before adding the pix), it was surprising how many people commented that it was a perfectly natural type of thing to happen to me - they believed me completely and required no proof.

So Saturday was interesting.